i have decided not to look at my tagboard.
it's demoralizing.
okay, so something to away my artistic
talent of writing PMs, particularly emo
and ALWAYS about love. trying to get back on my feet now.
to quote the great Mr Hong,
"is your broken heart fixed?"
ah well. don't know yet.
i have gone rather mad these few days and started blogging,
facebooking and youtubing again.
which i could easily abstain from if
i wanted to, or was just
too tired to think about it.
well, to get over my tiredness i'm gonna try sleeping at like 9pm
every day. cos it really sucks to have to
be suddenly so lethargic in the middle
of a fairly interesting lesson.
and having to nap in the afternoon, which
i did today for don't know how long.
ahhh. die le.
school was... quite nice today,
actually learned quite a few things. i
can see that with Mr Teo for our history teacher i
might actually begin to like the subject,
and from now i on i know i need to copy endlessly during
his lesson. that's nice, i kind of like that.
science was...okay. might be
joining clean and green week with our hopefully
successful eco-roof prototype.
and survive through the stuggle meanwhile.
still quite hyped up about
shao shan's sweet 16, and she did say
that she was very touched. WAHAHA, being my friend
comes with insurance de, covers birthdays as well.
can claim present and a lot of fun. (:
another thing i learnt today-
it hurts to be different.
well, not only today, learnt it a long
time ago, from like p6...
but it still poses a problem for me.
i wish i could stop growing up...
or just grow slower, at the same pace as everyone
else. to blend in sometimes and
not stick out like a sore thumb.
***
have to study for chengyu test tomorrow!
seriously, there are FIFTY chengyus
and i can only remember about 30?
diediedie. i really hope to be consistently
good for this year so i'm trying
my best to work out every subject and
put in my best effort for it,
even if it means sacrificing sleep and
maybe even more things to sacrifice in the future!
but thing is i really want to do this,
i know i can.
so with desire, i believe.
with desire and belief i will
expect and set goals, and with
persistency i will achieve them.
(:(: it's nice to have a psychologist-conductor.
so i will NOT fail at believing in myself
no matter how tough the going gets.
no matter what others think of me.
no matter what i have to give up.
and least of all, not a relationship issue.
and while i'm free, i'll think up
a cycling outing, find kaki and then
celebrate what i have in style;
i suddenly miss those times in p3p4 when
the "moonfire butterflies"
(and sometimes other people who came
on and out of our lives)
would gather at the school garden
during recess and bring all our snacks to share
and celebrate CNY.
we even gave each other fake angpows.
(filled with candy and other gifts.)

i'm treading on hot stones wherever you are...

honesty is really the best policy.
i shall speak more on this later, school first.
ACC? absolutely confusing, positively boring.
sooo need to brush up on my chinese.
the situation now is not unlike my first year in DHS,
total chinese noob-dom. ahhhh.
he speaks to fast for one, and has terrible diction.
LA was a bore as usual.
the stupid soh keeps calling us stupid and useless
and weak everyday. my GOOOD.
shall skip the details.
science? not bad, will do microbiology soon. finally,
something real! i hope we'll get more out of our bio syllabus this
year, and i won't be jealous when niya dissects a sheep's heart
- no wait, actually, ANYTHING- cos i'll be dissecting a frog or something.
and she doesn't have to rub RGS in my face.
computing. they actually invented something
to disable all conputer monitors and blank your screen.
AHHHHHHHHH. irritating? yes.
for the computing teachers though, it's a wonderful tool.
we all know how much we slack during computing.
ohwells.
didn't gt half the lesson and soon i gave up,
almost twisted my neck cos i kept turning to type
and retype the encoding.
i solemnly swear NEVER to go into IT even if it costs me my life.
geography was cool, except that my stomach
was rumbling throughout the whole thing. and i copied notes
later so i lagged behind quite a bit. ah. just
get better prepared next time!!
oh yes, distributed AWESOME y2 orientation dazzle maniacs tshirt
today!! i still remember asking kiatshing(?)/GARY if we would get the tee.
hehehehe.
it's really nice! but i got L which is like, way huge. terrible.
knew it cos i'm the 3rd tallest in class. and there
are definitely more than 2 L sizes.
but the tshirt is really nice! so for all our running
and hard work that day, we got a free shirt in the end.
not bad, quite worth it.
still think they should have ordered half the class S,
5 XS and the rest M. but anyway. ahhh.
got a belated birthday wish today. ^^
thank you mingshun.
okay so after school, went out with enmei, anni,
and cheryl to Kg. Arang to eat.
had a chat.
and the thing is, being honest is a really
hard thing to do because it requires courage
and a pure heart. we tell white lies so much
it becomes a part of our lives,
and we are constantly covering or hiding
from the truth...but the truth is
so powerful, so penetrative and so acute that
it really is like a slap in the face,
in fact it probably works better.
and being honest, you cannot
1.be embarrased or awkward,
2.laugh at the other person.
you just get it out, naturally.
so when we are pure, truthing is natural.
but now lying to many of us is natural already,
so what kind of people are we?
truthing will gain you the respect you need.
so i'll try to be as honest as i can from today onwards.
whoo, new year's resolution? don't know.
for me, you don't have to wait a whole year to change,
change is now.
change is constant.

okay. so it is my birthday!
appreciating fourteen-ness with a whole
lotta well wishes than any of my other birthdays,
especially from friends.
like to take this opportunity (i know this is so cliche)
to thank all my friends who seriously spruce up my life
with good and bad! thanks for all the million facebook thingies.
i have yet to reply and/or update my facebook
as my computer is (known) not to co-operate.
irritating? yes, the hell out of anyone who uses it.
for my fifteenth, anyone want to sponsor a VAIO?
under familial pressure i opened my presents
that i was supposed to keep till saturday after my DHS cum BFFs
birthday celebration. oh and combined birthday on the tenth was phenomenal.
has the best fun ever and got a pair of BEACH SHORTS.
I LOVE YOU NIYA.
and they are in turqoise how cool is that.
tight though.......... but can wear lah.
we bowled. i desperately wanted to cycle but ended up
making up for it by camwhoring and DDRing.
diane has terrible photography skills.
and such... INTERESTING. poses.
really, she is a style of her own.
will forget about posting photos, they take forever.
oh, part of the cycling thing was to get a wee bit
tanner. so anyone want to go? hopefully it's
a bunch of chicks so we can all wear halters (like what i did)
and ride with our backs to the sun. :):):)
***
have a cake from raffles hotel for breakfast tomorrow ^^
should be nice! oh and thanks thanks thanks to all my gift-givers,
cheche nine and cheche deline still owe me WAHAHAH. hopefully
i'll get my netball/ volleyball? and more hopefully,
learn to use it.
i realised i have this habit of rapidly thinking out my whole
post/essay/zuo wen then when i get to the middle i forget everything.
SIGH. about that, rethinking my huiguguoquzhanwangweinian. HAIZZ.
got the shock of my life this morning when i walked into the classroom
and vivian, isabelle, zixin and some other people i guess? shouted
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY RORY"
very sweet! got a wake up call. (:
and got like a gajillion smses this morning too.
DJ wakes up at unearthly hours.
had a lot of fun.
managed to siam maths.
printer almost died on me T_T
RS looks fun, damn i haven't thought of what i want to do.
DIEDIEDIE.
okay. must mug chinese. early in the year and already
under much stress.
but must remember not to give out negative energy, to
quote our dearest conductor mr ng.
who shares my birthday.
ah.
another reason to remember 12jaunuary.

happy fiftieth, darling.
i'm bored now so this is gonna be some
meaningless post, i guess.
school today was kind of boring,
not worth waking up at some unearthly hour
to drag yourself into.
okay i will admit it-
it was REALLY boring.
then we had this talk about
DHS X'plore, the Orientation Y2
thingy, which was a bit overdone.
i mean i don't know if it's a DHS thing
but isn't it too much to
prepare a powerpoint AND kill
trees for rules? if they trust us,
they should be able to let us go on our own.
i'm sure most of us civilized dudes
can take care of ourselves rights?
why do we need to be so
regimented and reminded? chances
are we're gonna be worse after that.
worrywarts.
but thank you for the effort lah...
school ended about 2pm,
got kinda held up cos i was
supposed to go eat at whitesands with
anni, isabel and wenjia.
but then gave dad a call and he said there's
lots of things in the fridge,
he just bought it this morning.
so they were understandably pissed.
\ \ l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l / /
- SORRY GUYS I'LL MAKE -
- IT UP TO YOU NEXT TIME (: -
/ / l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l l \ \
which will probably be on 16 or 17, depending.
so, went home and ended up
eating pizza, which was quite nice :)
also had a mug of orange juice.
okay have to prepare for dance now. <3<3
I LOVE DANCE. wahahaha.
then have to go find kaki for dinner. D;