so my bag finally broke and i'm in

two minds about it, cos i like it

a lot but now i get to buy a new bag.

*heehee* i really hope to get a nice one!

the harvesack i'm carrying now makes

me look like a ninja turtle. ><

so i've been feeling a little down these

few days, maybe it's the pre-EOY stress?

i know i shouldn't be worrying but that's

the way it goes isn't it? i keep thinking of

what others think about me as a friend after

almost a year of friendship. and to top it

all off i failed my chinese test today.

(i mean i took it today but i think

i failed it already. negative you say?

wait till you're me.) so i decided

to write my feelings down here. ah.

`MISTAKES-FOR THE LOST

how many times do i have to try

to know i can't keep trying

to realise i'll always lose in the end

how many times do i have to love

to know i can't keep loving

to realise that it's all lies

how many times to cry

to know i've finally run out of tears?

and move on bravely

how many times do i have to hear

the whispers behind my back

and suspect, and be afraid?

i'll try until i get it

i'll love until i find you

i won't give in

i'll cry till i get a river

flowing from within

i'll hear, listen, accept, change

till i find that one sweet spot

that's mine.

oh my god.

last day of the holidays and i am

rejoicing and crying at the

same time. rejoicing for the

fact that no school with no

friends, excessive studying

and too many late nights make me

woozy, school will be a relief for me.

crying for the fact that

i haven't finished chinese EOY practice paper.

yes, it does matter to me. and

of course, maths and geography half

done. you could say that

i belong outside on sundays,

not cooped up doing homework especially

not after something as depressing as

catechism class. where i am and

always will be- invisible.

i wouldn't mind it being that way. somewhere

where i could actually have zero social life.

quite amazing but yes.

dragged myself home- dad's not

around so it's one less person

to talk to. D: tried very hard to do chinese

but didn't make it in the end, seriously

i suck too much to even pass the MCQ/short

answer section. yelch. talked to sabbie

for awhile, and then i think

i got so addicted to the computer which

is a suckky feeling because unlike

all those facebookfans or

serious gamers, the main things

i do with a computer is mail, MSN(my

MSNing domain pretty much

is suckish), occasional wikipedia and limewiring,

and then comes blogging. oh dear.

what kind of loser am i?

i prefer outdoorsy stuff, or reading,

or doing homework that i can

complete. soyou could say that i don't

have much of a life. and i hate

practising piano when there are people

around. believe me my mother and sister

are hard to shake. ughhh?!?!?!

i need a new direction. a new life!

this sucks man, it's totally boring.

boredboredboredboredbored.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

i need something new.

is this how i'm spending my first

teen year, lost, impressionable with

a heck of a lot of troubles

of my own? is this the sign of what's to come?

or is this just pre-term jitters, post-holiday depression?

wow. thank you yunxuan for the tip

on "fixing" blogger.

i swear i will not eat fast food in the near future!

ate MEGA mcspicy today (i can see

your eyes widening and eyebrows rising)

and the chili is still churning in my stomach.

anni took the single but both of us didn't finish

the fries! besides that, i had a lot

of fast food recently. which is not very

good after a month-plus-long fast(which here

means NOT EATING)

anni and i were at the airport to study,

it was quite nice but i think we should have

just done it on the floor or something.

cos the tables were ultra small. and

she bought nerd rope and REFUSED

to give me some. ahhhh.

band was tough, kept getting scolded and

was really stressful. on my toes, literally, and didn't

have enough stamina to play for

the whole song! really need to practise,

kind of having the lack of it now.

oh yeahhh, went downstairs to

skip and had an embarrassing total of 50 skips

non-stop. wow, that is so MUCH! *note the high

pitch falsetto and droplets

of sarcasm* basically i suck, but

have been reading up

on how to do it better. the main vide i'm getting

is WORK AT IT,WHATEVER

I TELL YOU NOW,I TELL IDIOTS.

so it's been quite an mundane and

rather depressing day for me.

hope the rest of my holiday will

prove to be more fufilling as i go along.

oh finally.

blogger hasn't been restored to it's former glory

but at least this is SOMETHING.

reverting to my old habit

of typing centralized now.

like a poem.

today was poetry recital test, and

i think i flunked it! for those who thought

i was rolling my eyes, i was trying

to make eye contact! one of the more humiliating

things i can ever do to myself results

from that "tiny" problem i

have during publick speaking.

i sosososo failed it. ahhhh. this sucks.

and everyone else told me i was terrible too.

(i know you guys said it nicely)

joshua was laughing at anni

and i. so i dirtied his chair.

do NOT. mess with my friends.

quite funny he asked me

if i messed his chair then i was shaking my head

but the rest of the class was nodding.

THANKS A LOT!

so not helpful. anyways, hope

he won't take it to heart. diane agrees

that he is downright mean sometimes.

can't care less.

okay, so sorry for not blogging for such a long time!

since there are so many tags i shall happily

oblige you all and relink, change skin and

update! exams are just around the corner

so erms, maybe shorter posts this time. i

really appreciate all the tags

continue to do so, so i know someone is

out there enjoying my entires. (:

photo taking today was fun! the jump shot

was an epic fail and i think that the photographer

was super pissed. and the wind didn't help

much either. XP so anyway,

hope the pics come out alright, not exactly

my best day. hahah, none of us were ready for

any of the informal shots. wheeee!

i have a place in the netball team!

yay! staying back every wednesday yeahs.

ISABEL SIA. is a damn pro. along with

tee jiaxin! who is very nice and kind and cute after

i got to know her. <3

anni is a super pro defender. and oh yeah the

only way we are going to improve is

to play against guys. because they

really are good. it's some primordial

instinct or something from the dawn

of the human race. oh wells.

sorry for my mistakes, all i've done,

all i'm yet to do,

fate is so tricky

sometimes i can't control my will...

some cryptic little slice of my life,

go figure it out yourselves.